Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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