Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
