IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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