The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
