he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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