Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
