So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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