a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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