that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
