D3 body, D1 cock
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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