that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
