can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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