drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Found the puke drawer
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
