ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
