Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize