It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
