I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
