I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
