sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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