Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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