his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
