I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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