**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
