it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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