I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
as a side note pls kill me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
