so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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