my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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