Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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