Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
