he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize