he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
