called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
