Well apparently he's into motor boating.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
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I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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