Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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