Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
