I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
