i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
