Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Randomize
