I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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