I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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