Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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