I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
