I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
