Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.