I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.