I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
