She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not