You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
