she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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