absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
