i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
