Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
