Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
