And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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