Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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