It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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