maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
