we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
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I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
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Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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