You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
