Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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