oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
